What is a codependency?

17 Jul 2012, 15:09
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Codependency has much more complex origin than an addiction. This term has not yet received wide publicity. Relatives, spouses and friends are usually codependent of people who are alcoholics, drug addicts, gamers. Typically, codependent people stop living their own lives, as constantly engaged in controlling the life of another person.

lizard love

And the problem is, oddly enough, not in the man who demands the attention, but rather in person who allows such strong influence of dependent person.


Love addiction


Codependent person has a set of specific characteristics such as low self-esteem, complete disregard for his needs and focus on other people, subconscious desire to control and even compulsion state. Such people are usually have a depression and suicidal tendency.


Low self-esteem is a base property of character which gave the basis codependency. Dislike of himself makes a person to become directed to the outside world. An important feature of codependent is a sense of guilt that arises, for example, after spending money for his needs.


Conventional joy, which every person may afford from time to time, can create a strongest sense of guilt. Codependent people do not believe that someone can fall in love with them just like that. Therefore, they try in every way to deserve this love, helping everybody in the world and forget about themself. Subconsciously, they are trying to become indispensable for the other, often with the detriment of themselves.


Specialists are confident that codependency is a mirror reflection of dependency. Codependent person suffers and destroys himself in exactly the same way as the one who became the object of his addiction. The vast majority of wives (husbands) of alcoholics and drug addicts suffer from the same symptoms as the dependent. So, for example, you can get heart and gastrointestinal tract diseases.


They both suffer primarily from their own irresponsibility. The only difference is that dependent people truly irresponsible, while the codependent create the illusion hyper-responsibility, but in fact they are also not responsible for their own behaviour. Only qualified specialist can help in this case ―  a psychiatrist, psychologist or therapist.

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